


What He Deserved

by Saasan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU backstory, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Fanart, First Kiss, First Time, Happy Ending, M/M, Pre-Kerberos Mission, SHEITH - Freeform, Smut, Switching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 13:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13411785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saasan/pseuds/Saasan
Summary: Shiro should be overjoyed that Keith survived the Kerberos mission, but now he is tormented by guilt and desire.  Or, the AU where Keith was the Kerberos pilot and the author pours angst into a Shiro-shaped void.





	What He Deserved

**Author's Note:**

> In case no one could tell, this story is completely unrelated to my Pidge is a Girl series, lol. I was originally going to do a Sheith smut fic set in that series, but then I thought of what would've happened if Shiro and Keith switched roles, and this happened.
> 
> I dedicate this in all its smutty glory to the lovely and talented Kotokot, creator of Handcuffs and Guard Dog--two beautiful BL stories to make your heart and ovaries burst. <3 She drew this AMAZING picture of AU Keith. I could die right now and have lived a full live!!

[Kotokot's tumblr](http://kotokota.tumblr.com/)

 

Shiro woke up, soaked with sweat, and clenched his fists _._ He’d had the dream again—the dream full of eager hands and burning lips and fevered touches. _I can’t. Not like this. Not with him. Not after I already failed him. He deserves better from me._

It wasn’t the first time Shiro had had these thoughts. Ever since Keith had crashed back to Earth in a stolen Galra ship, Shiro had noticed a sharp change in his feelings. He’d always cherished the boy—now a man—and seeing him alive had given him more joy and hope than he’d known he could feel. But, with that joy had come a new set of feelings: lust, desire, and an entirely different kind of love.

He’d always loved Keith, seeing him first as a student then a brother and a friend. Keith had always been special. But now? Now that Keith was home, hurting in more ways than he could imagine, now that Keith needed him the most, his heart and mind were consumed with shameful desires. Not that Shiro believed desire for a man was inherently wrong, but it was wrong for him to want _Keith_. He had utterly, completely failed Keith and did not deserve his friendship, much less his love or affection.

It was his fault. He was the one who had recommended Keith for the Kerberos mission. The higher ups had originally wanted Shiro, but he knew Keith was eager to prove himself and had been guiding the younger man’s growth with pride. Keith was the best pilot in the garrison, Shiro pointed out. The Holts deserved the best for a mission like this, and they were both steady-minded enough to cool his temperament if needed. After a long deliberation, the council agreed.

Keith had been hesitant at first, but he had warmed to the idea. Shiro was _so proud_ of him. He couldn’t stop congratulating him and praising him. He had such a bright future ahead of him.

And then it came. The report that changed everything. “Pilot error”—that’s what it said. He didn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe it. Keith was the best pilot Shiro had ever seen. Had Shiro been wrong to recommend him? Had he been too young to handle the pressure of the mission, the stress of being gone from Earth for so long? But no—that couldn’t be it. Shiro _knew_ Keith’s skills and he’d seen how well the young pilot had gotten along with the Holts. Young as Keith was, Shiro was confident in his abilities. There had to be more to the report, something they weren’t sharing.

Shiro knew the only way to find out was to rise in the Garrison ranks, to increase his security his privileges. Maybe, if he knew the truth of what happened, he could find peace. But that peace was years away. Countless nights he awoke from nightmares, seeing Keith suffocating in the vacuum of space or—worse still—dreamed Keith was home and safe, only to realize the bitter truth. Keith was dead, and it was his fault.

He trained harder than ever, working off as much of his agitated grief as he could. On his rare days off from his duties, he took long rides in the desert, somehow drawn to a mystery that he could not unlock, strange runes in deep caves that puzzled him and let him sink his tired mind into something new. And through it all, his heart ached. He missed Keith more than he could fathom. Through the years at the Garrison, Keith had become an integral part of his life. He had mentored the young man, watching with pride as he flourished and grew, learning to control his impulses and mastering each skill he tackled. Keith had deserved so much better than he’d gotten—from life and from Shiro.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, Shiro decided to get out of his room and burn off his energy training. So long as he was awake anyway, he might as well being doing something productive—and if he could keep his mind off Keith, so much the better. But, fate had a sense of irony it seemed because when he entered the training room, who else should be there but Keith himself.

At the sound of the door opening, Keith turned and then waved hello. “Can’t sleep? Didn’t think anyone else would be up.” He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, sweat clinging to his body. He had clearly been training for a while.

Shiro shrugged. “Couldn’t fall back to sleep, so I thought I’d come train.” He smiled a little. It was a bit like old times. Back at the Garrison, on nights when Keith couldn’t sleep, he’d sneak to Shiro’s room and beg to borrow keys for either the flight simulator or a sparring room. Most of the time Shiro caved and then came with him, supervising and training along side him.

Keith grinned. “Feels nostalgic, doesn’t it?” He tossed Shiro a pair of gloves for protection while practicing.

“Not really,” Shiro mused as he tugged on the gloves. “I used to train sometimes with a scrawny kid I always went easy on. Now I train with this scrawny adult I go easy on. It’s a very different situation.”

Keith snorted. “Whatever you say, old man. I can pound you into the mat any day of the week.”

Shiro made a strong effort to quash down the mental image Keith had just sprung on him and pretended to be adjusting his gloves.   Keith was smirking at him when he looked up.

“No comeback?” he taunted.

Shiro squared his shoulders and smiled back at the challenge. “What was that? This old man didn’t hear you so well. Why don’t you tell me again after you actually pound me?” That sounded better in his head.

It was a friendly spar. They kept things light, pushing each other far enough for a workout but still exchanging jokes and taunts. It was also a closer match than usual. Keith had speed and agility and excellent reflexes, but Shiro had size and strength on his side as well as seven more years of experience. Keith was catching up though—Shiro could easily see and appreciate the fruits of his hard work in terms of both increasing skill and sculpted muscle mass. It was distracting, but not as distracting as Keith’s Galra arm. He could never see it without feeling guilty. Even so, Keith’s friendly jabs at his expense brought up his mood. As much as Shiro’s heart ached when he was around Keith, he still always found himself smiling. Everything about Keith was precious to him.

“That went in my favor, I think,” Shiro said with a grin after a particularly long bout. “But you’re getting there. Good work.”

“Thanks, Shiro. I needed that,” Keith said as he grabbed a towel.

Shiro couldn’t help a glance at the naturally graceful movements Keith made as he rubbed the cloth across his limbs. Keith was beautiful.

“Always happy to help out my brother,” Shiro said, more to remind himself than anything else.

Keith frowned. It was an involuntary action, and Shiro could see traces of deep pain that Keith quickly winced away into a tired smile. “Yeah,” he said.

“What? What is it?” Shiro asked. He caught Keith by the arm before he could turn away and searched his face. He’d done something wrong again.

“It’s nothing,” Keith said. He looked away. “I’m just tired.”

“Keith,” Shiro said gently. “Please tell me. I can see that you’re not fine. How long have we known each other? You can talk to me. You can always talk to me.”

Keith sighed heavily. “Just…don’t call me that. I never once thought of you as my brother,” Keith said, his voice thick and low, like each word was a weight.

Shiro’s stomach churned. So it was like that. He had presumed far, far too much. And now? Now Keith couldn’t even look at him. He gasped in a painful breath, nauseous. “Okay. I’m sorry. I… I thought too much of myself. I understand,” he said and winced through every word.

Keith looked angry. “No, you _don’t_ understand.” He stopped to steady himself, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. “Shiro, I hate that you blame yourself. I hate it so much. I can see it every time you look at me and it breaks my heart. I didn’t,” he stopped to swallow. “I didn’t go on the Kerberos mission because you wanted me to or to make you proud of me. I went to get over you. I thought… I thought if I spent that much time away from you, got that _far_ away from you, I could get over the stupid crush I had on you and just be your friend again. But, it didn’t work,” he finished lamely. “I’m more in love with you than ever and it kills me that you think any of this was your fault, and I don’t know how much longer I can handle seeing you do this to yourself.”

Shiro was stunned. Of all possible explanations, it had been _that_? His regret was causing Keith more pain? Suddenly, he engulfed Keith in a tight hug. A joy was rising in him as the full realization of Keith’s words washed over him. Keith forgave him—never thought he needed forgiveness!—and Keith loved him. Keith was _in_ love with him. Shiro squeezed Keith closer, afraid to let him go.

Keith wrapped his arms around Shiro, giving him a few awkward, comforting pats. “Shiro?” he asked uncertainly. “I’m really happy you’re hugging me, but I kinda just confessed I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do because this doesn’t feel like a ‘brother hug’ and I really, really don’t want to misread this.”

Shiro pulled back and held Keith’s face in both his hands. “Thank you,” he said breathlessly, his heart pounding and trembling. He pressed his lips against Keith’s and felt the younger man’s jolt of surprise melt into a desperate response. They clung to each other as Shiro pulled hungry kisses from Keith’s lips, nipping lightly and then pressing closer, humming in delight when Keith opened his mouth and accepted Shiro’s tongue. They kissed liked they were starved for each other until they had to stop for breath.

“Not a brother kiss?” Keith said shyly, tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear.

“Not a brother kiss,” Shiro confirmed with a smile. They chuckled and pressed their foreheads together, relaxing in the moment.

“So..,” Keith said as he slipped a hand through Shiro’s, threading their fingers together.

“So?” Shiro asked. He tugged Keith’s hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles.

“So, can we continue this in my room?” Keith blushed and looked at Shiro shyly.

For the second time that night Shiro was stunned. “You’re… you’re certain? You want this? We don’t have to. We can go slow,” he said. He was eager, but he was not about to rush Keith into _anything_ he didn’t want.

Keith’s face fell. “We don’t have to. I know we’re sweaty and you must be tired. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like a horny teenager,” he babbled awkwardly, blushing much harder.

“Hey, I’m not an old man yet,” Shiro smiled. “I just want this to be at your pace.”

At that, Keith practically pounced him. He kissed like he fought, fast and precise, as if he were desperate to cover as much of Shiro’s skin as possible. He wove his fingers through Shiro’s hair to yank him down to a better position, kissing up into his mouth and rocking his hips forward. Shiro positioned his thigh to allow Keith to rut against him and he moaned gratefully, dragging himself across Shiro to savor the friction. He whimpered Shiro’s name.

Shiro kissed Keith deeply and pulled back with a happy chuckle. “If that’s the pace you want, I’m more than willing to go there with you. Your room?” he asked, verifying again that this indeed was what Keith wanted.

Keith nodded, his eyes flickering with a hungry fire. He practically dragged Shiro along with him, checking back over his shoulder twice as if afraid that Shiro wasn’t with him—despite Shiro never letting go of his hand.

They crashed into Keith's room, kissing as if they'd been parted for years instead of merely a short walk. Keith spun him against the wall and immediately pressed hungrily against him, biting kisses from his lips and along his jaw to his neck. He dug his hands into Shiro's shirt and pulled it off him as if its presence offended him. Shiro chuckled at his eagerness and let Keith have his way. Keith's gaze roamed Shiro with a calculating intensity as if he was determining the fastest method to take him. He resumed his attack, grinding into Shiro and griping his ass with one hand while clutching his back with the other, biting sharp kisses down his chest. Sensing a kind of desperation borne from more than just desire, Shiro caught him by the wrists and held him back slightly.

“Hey,” he said quietly. “Are you okay?” He searched Keith's face earnestly, aching to continue but unwilling to go further without confirmation.

Keith's face was open and honest but nearly fearful when he replied. “It's you,” Keith explained, eyes full of an emotion Shiro understood but could not name. “It's you. You're here.” He was shaking.

Shiro tenderly ran his hands along Keith's sides and then pulled him closer. “I'm here,” he promised. He leaned down to kiss Keith slowly and deeply, holding the embrace for a long time. “I'm here,” he repeated. “I'm here with you, Keith. I'm here and I'm going to stay.” Keith sighed in what seemed like relief and wrapped his arms tightly around Shiro. “I'm here. You're home. You're safe.” They stayed like for a few minutes, Shiro rubbing Keith's back gently and kissing the top of his head. He felt the younger man's tension slowly ease away. Finally, Keith pulled back and looked up at Shiro, eyes less desperate and more shy. Shiro raised his eyebrows slightly in a question and Keith nodded.

Smiling, Shiro pushed him backward to the bed, gently pressing him to sit. He sat next to him and, after waiting for Keith's approving nod, carefully pulled off the younger man's shirt. It was incredible sight, and Shiro reveled in the joy of being able to take his leisure in soaking it in. Keith was lithe and firm. Shiro's fingers traced the other man’s frame. His pale, lovely skin was crossed with so many scars. How much had Keith endured on his own, tortured and alone, while Shiro was on Earth, doing nothing but waiting? Shiro could barely stop himself from quivering.

“Don’t,” Keith said, eyes cast away. “Please. Don’t look at them.”

Shiro cupped him under the chin, tilting his head to look up, waiting until Keith’s eyes at last met his. “You’re beautiful, Keith,” he whispered. “Every inch of you. I just wish I could have prevented your pain.” He reverently kissed a scar on Keith’s shoulder. “Your scars are proof you fought and survived. They aren’t flaws. They’re just as beautiful as you are.”

Keith’s eyes shone bright with tears. He bit his lip and struggled to keep them from falling, ultimately failing as Shiro stroked his face with gentle, soothing motions of his thumbs.

“You can cry,” Shiro whispered. “It’s okay, Keith. I’m here. You can cry.”

Keith smeared the tears from his eyes with the balls of his hands. “They're happy tears, you big goof,” he insisted with a laugh. “You're kinda perfect.” He touched a hand to Shiro’s chest and he obediently lay down on the bed. Keith pressed himself over Shiro’s body and he savored the feeling of skin-to-skin contact, his hands roaming Keith’s body.

“You feel amazing,” he breathed. He cupped a hand behind Keith’s neck to draw him down for a kiss. He responded eagerly, licking deep and swirling his tongue, his hips soon grinding his erection against Shiro’s as Shiro pulled him closer until they both had to stop for breath.

“Sorry, just so eager to have you,” Keith panted. “I feel like I’ve been starving and I didn’t know it.”

Shiro breathed out hard. “I know what you mean.”

Keith tucked his thumbs under Shiro’s pants and raised an eyebrow. Shiro raised his hips by way of assent and the garment quickly slipped away. His cock was already beading precum and Keith chuckled, looking incredibly pleased. He licked the hollow of Shiro’s hip and then nuzzled into the dark curls at the base of his erection and breathed in deeply. Shiro flushed, embarrassed by both the action and that his cock had twitched in response.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about,” Keith assured him. “You look even better than I imagined.”

“You been imaging me?” Shiro smiled.

Keith left the bed to remove his own pants and get the lube. “Every damn day,” he muttered under his breath. Shiro had a feeling he wasn’t supposed to have heard that and blushed harder as Keith hopped back on the bed, lube bottle in hand.

Shiro propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look at his partner. Scars raked every part of his body. He couldn’t help the small sorrow that rose in him at the sight, but there was no denying that Keith was still breathtakingly beautiful. “Wow,” he murmured reverently as his eyes traveled freely over Keith’s body, lingering on his long, pale cock, flushed pink with arousal.

“Everything looking alright?” Keith asked, smirking but looking embarrassed.

“I want you,” Shiro said simply.

Keith blushed a bit harder. “How do you want me?”

“In whatever way you’ll give yourself to me,” Shiro said as he raised himself up for a kiss. Keith grabbed his face with both his hands and kissed back. After indulging in the embrace, Shiro pulled away to study Keith’s face as he smiled. “Tell me how you’ve imagined me. Pick your favorite.”

Keith sucked in his breath at that and breathed hard for a moment, considering. “I want to claim you, and then I want you to claim me. Are you good for two rounds, old man?”

Shiro chuckled at the challenge and sank back on the bed with a smile. “With you? I bet I’ll manage.”

Keith scooted closer, hoisted Shiro’s hips up, and spread his legs around him. He hummed in appreciation at the sight.

“Is it alright if I use this to open you?” Keith asked quietly, raising his Galra arm. Shiro looked a little surprised at the question but nodded. “I know how you look at it,” Keith explained, flicking open the bottle of lube and applying it to his metal fingers. “I want you to know it’s okay. I hate that they did this to me. But Shiro, the Galra might have taken me apart, but you put me back together.” The cold fingers began to trace his hole gently and he shivered a little, more from pleasure and anticipation than the temperature. Keith rubbed his thigh with his free hand. “When I got back, I was repulsed by myself, but you weren’t. You felt guilty, yeah, and that hurt, but you weren’t disgusted.” The tip of a finger teased in. “It was like I could breathe again. If you didn’t reject me, how could I reject myself?” The finger slipped in further and Shiro gasped.

“I could never reject you, Keith,” he said softly.

Keith smiled and pulled the finger out, circling, and then slipped it back in. “You brought me back, Shiro. You might not have gone into space and found me, but you brought me back.”

A second finger eased in and Shiro felt himself being scissored, stretched, by fingers impossibly precise and gentle. He felt his hole twitching and clenching around them. “I never stopped missing you. I never stopped thinking about you,” he said, his words clipped by a gasp.

Keith pressed his fingers in deeper, crooking them slightly, and began a slow and steady rhythm. “I knew you wouldn’t. I just hoped you wouldn’t regret it when you found me again.”

“Never,” Shiro said, panting as the fingers continued to open him. “Never.”

Keith smiled, his face tender but filling with lust as he watched his fingers disappear into Shiro’s hole. He licked his lips and Shiro clenched involuntarily. “ _God_ , Shiro, you feel amazing,” he mumbled. His breath hitched as he began to use a third finger and Shiro pressed back into the touch.

“H-how much can you f-feel?” he stuttered. Keith was coaxing so much pleasure out of him and he hadn’t even entered yet.

“Everything. You’re warm; you’re soft. I can feel you pulsing and clenching around me, and damn you look amazing, swallowing my fingers like that,” he said.

Shiro moaned. “Feels amazing,” he said. His knuckles were clenched white in the sheets.

“That mean you’re ready for me?” Keith asked, leaning forward to kiss and lick a nipple. Shiro shuddered and moaned loud and felt Keith’s smile against his skin. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Shiro nodded hard, making Keith chuckle.

The fingers gave him a fine spread and then retreated. Keith slicked his cock with a generous amount of lube and lined himself up. “Beautiful,” he murmured again and slid his tip in.

Shiro winced very slightly at the initial burn of muscle as Keith pressed in but then he felt full and good and _finally_. “Mmn. Didn’t know how much I needed this,” he said.

Keith shifted and angled up Shiro’s hips. He reached a hand down to touch his face and Shiro tilted his head to capture the fingers in his mouth, sucking lightly and swiping his tongue across them before releasing, watching as Keith’s eyes widened and then blinked shut. “I’m going to take you now, Shiro,” he said shakily and began to move.

It was incredible. It’d been incredible from the start but this…this was a new level and fuck had Keith always been this strong? Maybe Keith was the one who’d been going easy on _him_ during their training. Shiro could get lost in this. Keith was pumping into him steadily, face washed in pleasure.

“Fuck. Fuck you feel so good, Shiro. Better than—nnh—better than I imaged. So tight, so _good_ ,” Keith praised. “You’re taking me so well. F-fuck,” he gasped as Shiro began to move his hips in time to Keith’s thrusts. He hitched himself higher, clinging to Shiro’s hips with one hand and grasping his shoulder with the other as he pressed down above him.

Shiro moaned at the added depth and weight. “S’good, baby,” he slurred. “Keep doing that. ‘t’s so good.” He reached up and caressed Keith’s cheek, the gentle stroke changing suddenly to a grip on Keith’s shoulder as the younger man began to press down in earnest. Shiro felt spikes of pleasure run down his whole body as Keith thrust long and deep. It was so deep, catching his prostrate easily on every thrust and he was trembling.

“I got you, baby,” Keith panted. “Shit, Shiro you look amazing under me. Always wanted you like this, always wanted to see you like this. See you undone for me.”

Shiro’s hand dug deep into the sheets and he released Keith’s shoulder, switching to hold his cock. He barely had to thumb his head with a few quick, strokes before he was losing himself to a wave, strong and beautiful and unbearable and then it was white, white stars and he was falling, and Keith would catch him—Keith would always catch him, never let him fall alone. He came to himself shuddering, his chest covered in his own cum. Keith was watching him intently, gauging and still pumping his hips slowly.

“How’re you doing, big guy?” he said.

“We get you?” he panted, still breathless.

Keith nodded emphatically. “And how.” He eased Shiro down and they panted together for a moment. Keith was watching the place they were connected. He traced a finger around Shiro’s hole and he clenched again involuntarily. “ _Fuck_ you look amazing, spread around me like that. I knew you wouldn’t be mad at me for getting off to you even if you didn’t…feel the same way. But…I always felt a little guilty for imaging you in detail like this.” He gently stroked around Shiro again. “I knew you wouldn’t shame me or hate me for loving you or wanting you, but stuff like this.…”

“It’s intimate,” Shiro supplied the words for him.

Keith nodded. He pulled out slowly and Shiro gasped a little, already missing the feeling of connection. Keith’s pupils were widening again. “Always wanted to see what you looked like with me spilling out of you,” he said. “Damn, Shiro, I can’t believe I actually got to have you.” He shivered.

Shiro sat up shakily, still pleasure-weak, and kissed Keith on the brow. “ _Always_ wanted to see that?” he murmured. “You were pretty young when we met.”

Keith scowled. “Maybe not _always_.”

Shiro laughed and got up to fetch a towel. “Sorry to ruin the moment. You’re spoiling my ego. Makes me a little embarrassed,” he admitted. He finished cleaning off and brought Keith back a towel.

“Can’t help it,” Keith mumbled. “I’ve been biting back telling you how much I want you for years.” He finished cleaning himself and dropped the towel off the edge of the bed. Shiro lay down and patted next to him, prompting Keith to lie beside him.

“You’re so beautiful, Keith,” Shiro whispered as he gently tucked a lock of black hair behind Keith’s ear. “It stunned me when I found you outside the Garrison. You were in so much pain and I could feel your fear but when you slept in the shack that night I couldn’t help but stare. It was like I’d never seen you before. Underneath all your suffering, there was so much beauty.” He chuckled a little. “Felt a bit like a sinner, thinking I wanted to kiss you. You’d practically been my brother.”

Keith sighed and pressed into Shiro’s caresses. “Tell me about that. About wanting to kiss me.”

“I actually did kiss you,” he admitted, “on the forehead. I stopped myself when I realized I wanted to kiss your lips. That was a shock. I tried to convince myself it was just because I was so happy to see you, but…,” his fingers trailed down to Keith’s lips. “That feeling never went away.”

“Hmm,” Keith smiled softly. “You should give into it.”

Shiro did. He cupped his hands behind Keith’s neck and pressed his lips gently to his mouth, drinking in slow, long kisses. His movements were firm and certain and he could feel Keith responding eagerly, trying to press in deeper and faster and further. He grinned against Keith’s lips and purposely stayed slow until Keith popped free and smacked him on the shoulder.

“Seriously?” he said, looking affectionate but annoyed.

Shiro laughed and then whipped Keith onto his back, holding down his wrists with one hand and pulling rough kisses from surprised lips as he crowded above him, covering Keith’s body with his own. Keith groaned into him and spread his legs, wrapping them around Shiro and urging him on with strong squeeze of his thighs. Shiro ground down into him, his skin burning pleasure at the feeling of Keith growing hard beneath him. He growled approval and kissed his way down Keith’s neck, latching onto his shoulder to leave a mark. Keith moaned and arched his back, writhing.

“So good, Shiro,” he said, both praising and pleading for more.

Shiro licked his neck up to his earlobe and sucked on it. “What do you want from me, Keith? Do I take you like this when you think of me?”

“N-never dared,” Keith panted. “N-never dared to dream you y-you’d want me this much.” He cut himself off with a cry as Shiro ground his hips down harder.

Shiro released his wrists and sat back, pulling Keith’s hips onto his lap in one smooth motion. “I do want you, Keith,” he said as he reached for the lube bottle, his eyes never leaving Keith’s face.

“Fuck,” Keith breathed.

“I plan to,” Shiro grinned with a firm promise.

His fingers coated, he began to swirl them over Keith’s hole. He watched the younger man shudder and then relax into the feeling, his cheeks bright red and his hands twisted in the sheets. He pressed in a tip of a finger.

“Have you opened yourself before?” he asked quietly, gently holding down Keith’s hips with his other hand. Keith nodded, a little embarrassed but too far gone to care. “Show me your speed,” he said as he kissed Keith’s hand. “Let me know if I go too fast.”

“Feels better when you do it,” Keith said. His fingers grabbed harder into the fabric

Shiro smiled and licked his palm. He wrapped his hand around Keith's cock and began to stroke it in time with the careful attentions of his other hand. Keith shuddered.

“No,” he said, grabbing Shiro's wrist. “I won't last. I wanna come from your cock,” he gasped.

Shiro trembled from both the sudden “no” and consequent fear and the spike of arousal set off by Keith's last statement. “Then would you like to watch me touch myself?” he asked quietly. He began stroking his own length, watching how hungrily Keith followed the moments. Keith bit his lip.

“Like having you watch me,” Shiro murmured.   “Wonder what face you'll make when I'm in you. You want it?”

“Yes,” he said. “Yes Shiro. C-can't believe I haven't s-sucked on it yet.”

Shiro bit back a moan. “I seem to remember someone being very eager,” he teased breathlessly. He was up to three fingers now, and the Red Paladin was rocking back on them, chasing the feeling.

“Please, Shiro...,” he whined. “I'm ready for you. I'm so ready for you.”

“Patience yields focus,” Shiro said with a wicked grin. He crooked his fingers at a steeper angle and was rewarded with a particularly load moan.

“Don't wanna come yet,” Keith pleaded.

Shiro relented immediately. He withdrew his fingers and bent to kiss along Keith's stomach as he slicked up his cock. He positioned himself carefully and looked Keith in the eyes.

“Please,” Keith whispered.

Shiro pressed in slowly, allowing Keith time to relax and adjust—and if he were being honest, himself as well. Keith was tight and warm. He was grateful that he had bottomed first. He doubted he would have lasted long if he hadn't just come. “You feel amazing,” he said, his voice gruff with want. He licked his lips.

Keith began to move his hips and hooked his ankles behind Shiro's back, urging him on. Not needing to be prompted twice, Shiro gripped Keith closer and thrust slowly and steadily into him, watching Keith's chest heave with slow moans.

“You look so good, so beautiful,” Shiro said. He shivered at the sight of Keith spread and writhing before him.

Keith moved his hips back to meet Shiro's thrusts. “Harder, Shiro,” he begged.

“Just don't want to hurt you, baby,” Shiro said, his voice strained and panting. _Fuck_ , Keith looked amazing.

Keith grabbed Shiro's wrist from where it had been gripping his thigh, prompting him to stop and look at him properly. “I'm not fragile, Shiro. You can go harder,” he said. His pupils were blown wide with lust and his lip was bitten red. Shiro's eyes traced along a scar. Keith was right—he wasn't fragile at all, and he wanted this as badly as Shiro did.

Shiro pulled back entirely, causing Keith to whimper at the loss. “On your knees,” he ordered in a tight voice.

Keith scrambled to his knees, facing away from Shiro, trembling with anticipation. “Down,” Shiro commanded, pressing a hand between Keith's shoulder blades to emphasize the point. Keith groaned as he bent forward, ass in the air, head turned on his pillow and fingers clenched in the sheets.

Shiro grabbed the soft flesh of Keith's ass and spread him further, sucking in his breath at the sight. He nudged Keith's thigh with his knee. “Wider,” he said as lined himself up and Keith quivered, opening further.

“Take me, please,” Keith whispered. Shiro obliged.

This time he thrust fast and hard. Flesh slapped against flesh as he pounded forward, the shock of contact pressing Keith further down.

“Yes, _yes_ , like that. Shiro, please,” he begged. “More, _more_. Don't stop don't stop don't stop,” Keith chanted. Too overcome to match Shiro's movements, he simply fought to ride out the onslaught of pleasure as he clutched the sheets tighter still.

Shiro's hands grasped deep into Keith's hips. There would be bruises tomorrow, but tonight Keith needed every ounce Shiro gave him and Shiro was delirious with the desire to fill the younger man exactly how he wanted.

“Wanna feel you come in me. Give me it. Give me all of you. I need it I need _you_ ,” Keith cried. His eyes were screwed tight and watering from the sheer force of feeling.

Shiro grabbed Keith's wrists and yanked him up, pulling him back onto himself and Keith came with a grateful sob, shaking and trembling as he shot white onto the sheets. Shiro wrapped a hand around Keith to pump him through it and clutched him flush against himself with his other arm, biting into his shoulder as brought himself to his peak as well.  They collapsed panting on the bed, heedless of the mess, and gasped together for a few minutes. Somehow they found themselves giggling, both surprised by how hard they'd both wanted it.   

Shiro rolled on his side and reached to pull Keith close to him. “Was it what you wanted?”

 Keith sighed and cuddled closer. “Still can't believe I didn't suck you first,” he muttered with a laugh.

Shiro stroked his hair and laughed with him. “You can whenever you want to,” he murmured into Keith's soft, black hair.

“Too tired,” Keith said with a yawn. “For an old man you sure have stamina.”

“How old do you think I am?” Shiro asked with exasperated amusement.

“It's okay,” Keith assured him innocently. “I like silver foxes. I bet you'll look great with grey and white in your hair.”

Shiro shook his head and smiled as he collected fresh towels to clean themselves with. Soon they were tucked together under the covers, limbs entwined.

Keith watched Shiro fall into tranquil sleep and smiled.   Peace looked good on him. It was exactly what he deserved.

He nestled his head on Shiro's chest and was soon lulled to sleep by the soothing heartbeat in his ear. They held each other and dreamed of nothing until the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed be like, half the size (that's what he said?). I actually cut out the oral play because I didn't want to make it THAT long for just a self-indulgent smut fic. 
> 
> BUT GUYS. It's a legit thing!!! We see Shiro in pain because he feels Keith deserved more from life but then at the end we have Shiro finally at peace because he deserved Keith. Omg how cute. Yes, I AM ridiculously proud that I managed to have this be a *story* and not just a *scene*, but you bet your britches I would have still published this either way lol. The world needs more Sheith smut, amirite? It's what we *all* deserve.
> 
> I'm so lame. Someone stop me.
> 
> I like to think that if Keith had been the one to go on the Kerberos mission, he would have ended up a little more stable/mature. Something about not constantly worrying if he's going to need to chase Shiro across the galaxy again...? I dunno. I'm pretty Shiro is just one of those sweet guys who think everything is their fault because they desperately want to take care of the people they love, so I think he's the same in either story. XD I also think he's mostly a giant teddy bear in bed. Keith on the other hand? He wants the reassurance that Shiro _actually wants_ him, so the teddy bear turns into a grizzly.
> 
> The rest of Pidge is (Still) a Girl will be coming out soon! Now that I have this out of my system, lol.


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